Funny Stuff I found along the Way
Martha Stewart retains Lawyer
Friday June 13, 2003
With nine indictments pending, Martha Stewart has been in the hotseat this week on Wall Street. Rumors had been vague until this point however the defense counsel has been named; Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf. Martha was spotted today, with Mohammed, discussing strategy for a defense and a new Fall 2003 line.
In a public statement issued Mohammed was quoted saying:
'Yes, those lying, imperialistic SEC dogs have lied to you again. They have told you that you would find Martha's transactions illegal but we do not have such transactions. That transaction is not even within 100 miles of here. Sam Waksal is committing suicide because he has been shamed and Allah will roast its stomach in hell. Look around. Do you see the transaction they claimed was here? No! But we will be sending so many transactions to them that their weak and stupid brokers will scream for our mercy. And we will show those brokers no mercy whatsoever. We will show no mercy because those brokers who sent you looking for the transaction deserve no mercy.'
In unrelated news, K-Mart reinstituted the famous 'flashing blue light' as it's beacon for savings.
Iraqi Boy Band goes Copper
From a correspondent in Iraq 15jun03
They've already been dubbed the Boyzone of Baghdad, and this Iraqi boy band's name does suggest they have a big idea. They may call themselves Unknown To No One, but until the fall of Saddam Hussein, they were unknown to almost everyone.
The five 20-somethings were once so stuck for places to rehearse that they crammed into an ancient Volkswagen to practice. But now they have attracted interest from British record labels. Even if they don't sell a single disc, the band's ethnic mix already reflects what many hope will be a model for a new, inclusive Iraqi nation: two Armenian Christians, two Shi'ite Arabs, and a Sunni Kurd. Armenians Art Haroutunian, 25, and Shant Garabedian, 24, began the band in 1999.
They advertised for members on Voice Of Youth FM, owned by Saddam's notorious playboy son, Uday - the only Iraqi radio station that played Western music in Saddam's day.But the band's sharp haircuts and Western clothes, and their decision to sing in English, were frowned upon. A CD they recorded sold fewer than 2000 copies, but one reached British pop consultant Peter Whitehead.
He was so impressed by one of their songs, Hey Girl, that he plans to come to Baghdad.